The parent uses tricks not because he wants to fool the child. Cunning is an important instrument of human behavior. The more tricks we apply in life, the more successful we become. The more a child sees tricks in childhood, the more favorable his start. But all this will work only in one case: if, by applying tricks, the parent treats his child with respect, and not as a fool who is easily fooled, because he is small and still does not know much. Don't take your child for a little fool! An important feature of raising children is to be cunning, but not to fool your kids.<\/p>\n
And from this follows another very important principle of family education: do not lie to your child.<\/p>\n
Cunning can have a variety of backgrounds, it can be made from any material, but it should not be based on lies.<\/p>\n
Like this? Let's take an example.<\/strong><\/p>\n Mom can not drag the child home from a walk. The child has played out, the weather is fine, and he does not want to leave the playground. He is naughty, stubborn. And then mom says: “I forgot the way home. Help me please. Take me Home".<\/p>\n The trick worked, the child forgot about his whims and gladly took his mother home. Babies love to feel big. It's so intoxicating – to show my mother the way home. The trick worked, but what are the consequences? After all, my mother lied, and her lies are very rude, sewn with white thread. Mom cannot forget the way home, and the child's head will certainly be deposited: mom can lie. So, I can lie too. And the child will lie! And my mother will begin to be indignant and perplexed: why is he lying to me? Yes, because she taught herself.<\/p>\n In addition, the mother's trick mentioned above is based on the fact that she did not show herself in the best possible way. I forgot such an important thing as the way home! Is it too early for sclerosis? The child will also put this in his head, and after a while he will run into his mother with criticism: “Well, you never remember anything!" And to some extent he will be right, because, again, his mother herself advised him on this. But he will utter such words a little later, when his vocabulary will increase significantly, and at two or three years, while the baby has few words left, the child will begin to use his own tricks: twist ropes from his mother, torment her with inadequate requests and whims. Why? Yes, all because of the same: she set herself up, exposed herself almost as an imbecile. Yes, only the lazy will not twist from such a rope!<\/p>\n The question of walks – how to complete them, how to take the child away from where he is having fun, well – is quite complicated, requiring tricks.<\/p>\n Tricks is not a battle, but a game, an exciting game that both adults and children enjoy playing. We can play this game non-stop, starting in early childhood and continuing throughout our lives. What is this game based on, apart from those principles? What you need to know when starting this game? What are the rules and features of raising children in the family?<\/p>\n One must be able to read fairy tales – not only according to the written, but also according to the unwritten. This is how adults should read fairy tales, that is, think about every word and read between the lines.<\/p>\n In life, it happens that a child offers some kind of game, and a too sober-minded mother cuts this game in the bud. For example, a child says: there is a wolf in my room. And mom: no, son, you don\u2019t have a wolf in your room, don\u2019t be afraid. The child will still be afraid, so in such situations it is better to play “wolf” and come up with some kind of ritual, how you drive the beast away, drive it out the window, etc. Now the room is free, and the child will really cease to be afraid.<\/p>\n If you are starting a game, you first need to develop the whole plan, think about what options the scenario may have, and take care to minimize the risks. You need this so that the child eats healthy food and learns to order. He needs something completely different! He needs to spit porridge, break off door handles and make a mess in the house. And not out of harm! He learns the world in his own way, and you need to teach the baby to order, so you need to think through all the details of the plan and be aware of how you will get out if something goes wrong.<\/p>\n One of the features of family education of children is to create an impeccable reputation as a parent. This is a very difficult rule. Perhaps the most difficult thing, because with careless words and reckless actions, parents themselves send their reputation to the trash can. And she must be unshakable! And then light inoculations like “there is no Russian spirit here” will work.<\/p>\n What is meant by reputation? This is when a parent promises and keeps their promises. And if he understands that he cannot fulfill, then he does not promise. For example, if a mother promises a child that she will come home from work at eight o'clock, and they will read his favorite book, then she should break into a cake, but come at eight o'clock and read a book, even if she is dying of fatigue. And she has no excuse! Cork? Figure out how to make sure you don't get caught in this traffic jam. And if you hit, then call the child and read him his favorite book on the phone. And this is only in exceptional cases, you can use this technique once, but in no case turn it into a system, because the child may think that you are getting rid of him.<\/p>\n Following these rules, based on the psychological characteristics of parenting, will help you create impeccable tricks and facilitate your parenting process.<\/p>\n When applying various tricks to your child, you need to remember another important, fundamental principle: you need to play with your child, not fight. This postulate is by no means so obvious and explicit. For many parents, this struggle pops up at an unconscious level.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n Moms and especially compassionate grandmothers buy a toy for a child in a store, carry it in their arms on the street or in public transport, eat up porridge for it. If only the child did not scream, did not tear his heart-rending cries to pieces. But initially, the adult had completely different tasks: he had to make his purchases in the store, walk down the street on his important business, feed the child with healthy food. These tasks were not fulfilled, because the process of education turned not into a game, but into a struggle.<\/p>\n Always take into account such a psychological feature of family upbringing: wrestling is also a game, but this is not the kind of game that should be played with a child. Wrestling is a knockout game, that is, someone always wins and someone loses. There are, of course, battles with a draw, but for the viewer this game is not very interesting, because the struggle loses its meaning. How then to distribute places on the podium?<\/p>\n Game and pampering are close concepts, but not unambiguous. The game is more serious. It suggests a plot, rules. Rules are always restrictions, which means that this is already an entry into life, into its reality of dangers and obstacles. And pampering does not imply any rules. So play with the child or just mess around?<\/p>\n For example, you take a glass of water, insert a straw and invite the child to gurgle. If this happens in the country, in the garden, then this is pampering. You can splash this water as much as you like, you can pour water on yourself, other indulgent people, you can pour water on the ground. It's summer, summer cottage. Water as much as you like!<\/p>\n But if you decide to carry out this idea at home, indoors, even in the same dacha, but on the terrace, then pampering acquires rules and turns into a game. You tell the children: "You have to gurgle carefully so as not to pour on the floor." This is also fun fun, but the kids will hold back their agility, turn on the restrictions and develop certain skills. For example, they will think about the playmate and try not to get his beautiful suit wet. They will think that it is impossible to spoil the situation, which mom is so excited about. Do not forget about one important feature of the upbringing process: the game always involves the need to think!<\/p>\n And the game, and pampering – all this is permissible, everything is necessary, it is only important to be aware of what, when and where is happening. Are we playing or having fun? Where do we play and where do we play? It is important that in our head we do not confuse the game with pampering and do not turn it all into a struggle, then raising children will be a pleasant process, useful for both parties. After all, adults not only teach children, but also learn from them. Enjoy it!<\/p>\n The most important feature of parenting is the ability to play with the child.<\/p>\n Trick number 1. Live playfully!<\/strong><\/p>\n The game will help you better understand your child, avoid many conflicts and age-related crises. To play, you need to be able to fantasize. Fantasy with your child. Develop your imagination. Napoleon said,<\/strong> "Imagination rules the world." The one who has a developed imagination is much more successful in life.<\/p>\n Trick number 2. Get closer to your baby!<\/strong><\/p>\n Remember that a child looks at the world from the height of his height, he has completely different measurements, so go down from your height more often. Keeping in mind the psychological characteristics of upbringing, listen to what your child says, delve into his words, analyze them. Do not rush to your adult conclusions, children have a completely different logic.<\/p>\n Trick number 3. Negotiate with your child.<\/strong><\/p>\n You can negotiate with a child from any age. Do not wait for him to grow up and speak – negotiate with the baby. Accustom him to agreements in the literal sense "from the cradle."<\/p>\n The ability to negotiate will save you in the most difficult situations. When negotiating, do not demand the impossible from the baby. Take a promise from him, but do not demand its fulfillment by hook or by crook.<\/p>\n Trick number 4. Turn the promise into the most stable currency, not subject to any crisis.<\/strong><\/p>\n Always consider the following feature of family education of preschool children: agreements must be constantly reviewed and adjusted. Life changes, children grow up, parents grow up.<\/p>\n Trick number 5. If your child is naughty and does not obey, do not rush to punish him.<\/strong><\/p>\n Before punishing a child, think about it:<\/strong> perhaps you are doing something wrong. Analyze your actions, follow your child. Perhaps you do not take into account the peculiarities of his psyche and demand from him what the child cannot give.<\/p>\n Trick number 6. Choose the right words.<\/strong><\/p>\n Correct wording often helps to achieve results. Scripture says, "In the beginning was the word, and the word became deed."<\/p>\n In order for the word to become the right thing, you need to choose the right words. Keeping in mind the peculiarities of raising preschoolers, remember that with the right words you can encourage a child to take specific actions. This also applies to schooling, and the entire educational process as a whole.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n In family life and in the upbringing of children, there must also be rules. There is a lot of talk about this now, but here's the problem: little is observed.<\/p>\n Parental enthusiasm often leads to the fact that the rules are violated. Children need to be excited. Definitely a must! But not in everything and not always. One of the features of the process of education in the family is caution with delights that can break the family hierarchy. The child is loved and desired, but he is not the head of the family.<\/p>\n Excessive parental enthusiasm leads to the fact that the child begins to feel like the master of life.<\/p>\n The kid does not yet know that the owner is responsible for everything that happens in the house: for his life support, for material resources, for the general psychological climate. By definition, a child is not capable of all this. He doesn't have the experience to set the proper rules. Taking away his authority, the child becomes a capricious king, the center of the universe, and this complicates the existence of everyone, and the child himself – in the first place.<\/p>\n It is wrong for adults to believe that children are always in a state of bliss and serenity. On the contrary, the child is always afraid of something, he is wrapped in fears, like scarves and hats on a frosty day. For a child, everything around is unfamiliar and incomprehensible, and therefore terrible. He even spoke to an unfamiliar uncle because he was afraid. By talking, he helps himself. An important principle in early childhood education is to help your little ones by having conversations with them. When talking, you explain to the children what rules and boundaries exist, that everyone in the family has their own place: their own chair, their own sofa, their own place at the table and their own bed. Like in the fairy tale about the three bears, remember? Each bear has its own place, its own bowl, and everything is in its place, an unshakable order is preserved.<\/p>\n Another principle of modern family education is teaching children to order. Remember:<\/strong> the order in the house is the calmness of the child.<\/p>\n It seems to be true: everyone has their own place. But parents sometimes do not notice how they “give up” their places. They "surrender" by dying from enthusiasm about the antics of their offspring. And then: “oh, the child is making ropes out of me.” Well, of course, Viet. How not to twist! We contribute to this.<\/p>\n The routine that an adult offers to his child is, first of all, a routine that parents themselves must learn. If the child eats, then only at his table and in his place. If he likes the place of his father or mother and, sitting on his mother's chair, the child copies his mother very similarly, he should not be touched, but delicately return him to his place, praising him for what an artist he is. Artist – go to the podium, that is, to the middle of the room. There, imitate dad, and copy mom, putting on her hats and shoes. It is normal for children at the age of three to wear their mother's clothes – both girls and boys. Turn this childhood need into family fun. Let the fitting of mother's beads be a reward for the baby, and for you – another trick with which you can achieve something from the child next time. For example, put toys away.<\/p>\n Given the peculiarities of the process of raising preschool children, a place should also be allocated for toys. If the child's toys are scattered throughout the apartment, then the rules are not followed in this house. Most likely, whims with tantrums are also frequent guests in this house.<\/p>\n But what then, a child should not play in a room other than his own? It is possible and necessary. It is even very good when a child comes to his mother in the kitchen and plays near her with his toys. But after the kid has finished his game, ran away to another place, you must definitely ask him to take all the toys to the place. Each toy should have its own place, and all these places should be in the children's corner.<\/p>\n Will the child be stubborn? If he is stubborn, then not from evil. Not at all because the child has a perpetual motion machine of disobedience inside. He could not understand something, tired, overexcited. But it is necessary to demand order from him! Order in the house is a very important assistant in education.<\/p>\n For cleaning toys, you can come up with another trick. For example, let the same Kukaryamba be your assistant. But just don't scare the child with it. Let her be upset that the toys do not return to their place. Kids don't want to upset anyone! You can say: – Please put the toy in its place. Kukaryamba will come and cry. You don't want her to cry, do you?<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n If Kukaryamba takes root in you, then the baby himself will repeat: – Kukaryamba will cry, right?<\/p>\n Keeping in mind the peculiarities of raising young children, it is imperative to ensure that the toy goes to its place.<\/p>\n If you feel that the baby is very stubborn and does not want to take the toy, then he needs to be helped, and not swear. He must have some very serious internal reasons not to do it. You can use the “do it together” trick in such cases. – Well, baby, – mom can say, – you helped me, cooked soup with me, and I will help you too. Let's take this toy together.<\/p>\n And really carry along. It was not my mother who picked it up and carried it, but they took hold of the toy in two hands and together they carried it to the right place. This is not very convenient, and it is more convenient for the mother to “split” all the toys in their places. But if you do not take into account the peculiarities of raising young children, this will lead to a serious mistake: the mother will then do everything for the child herself, and the lessons too.<\/p>\n She went to work part-time, working three times a week until three in the afternoon. I decided to try: how will the child react? If it's hard, then you have to sit for another year. If there are no special problems, then after six months you can switch to the entire rate. Their family had just taken out a mortgage, so the budget really needed her participation. But Vanechka cried bitterly every time, her mother's heart broke, and Nastya was already inclined to think that she would have to wait a little with work.<\/p>\n When the mother leaves home, the baby is seized with real fear. He still has very little knowledge about the world, so when mom leaves home, it seems to him that she is leaving forever. His fear is understandable. Adults also worry about their loved ones when they go somewhere. They ask them to call when they reach the place, they worry.<\/p>\n The kid is also worried. Therefore, we must not forget about such a feature of the upbringing of a preschool child as the reduction and mitigation of the experiences of the baby.<\/p>\n No matter how small your child is, the alarms of the news sounding from television screens, your conversations about catastrophes and world troubles are transmitted to him. So if you want your child to be more calm – by the way, his sleep also depends on this – discuss world tragedies less in the family.<\/p>\n For the same reasons, you do not need to run away from home until the baby sees you or sleeps. Can you imagine his feelings when he wakes up and finds that you are not there? Have pity on your baby, warn him, tell him where his mother is going. An important principle in raising children is to talk to the baby.<\/p>\n Tell your child about your work, and even better, if you take him there, show him where you go, introduce him to your colleagues and superiors.<\/p>\n At what age can a child go to work? In any! Even small, very small children will understand where their mother goes. If you can\u2019t show your child the workplace, then you can introduce him to colleagues outside of work or invite them home. Here tricks are undesirable, honesty and openness are necessary in this matter.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n What to tell your child about work? Many mothers are too focused on the material side of the issue. Like, work is our salary, these are toys that will be bought for you, this is the sea to which we will all go on vacation.<\/p>\n The peculiarity of raising children of early preschool age is that the child needs to be explained what comes from, otherwise he will be in a pleasant delusion that milk itself goes into the refrigerator, and rolls grow in the buffet. But it is imperative to show the non-material side of the work, otherwise we will bring up a consumer attitude to life, and this will serve your baby in a bad way in adulthood.<\/p>\n It is also very important, when talking about work, to expand the topic of friends. Explain to the child what friends are, what place they occupy in life. Friends help us, and we help friends. In general, it's a lot of fun with friends. The principles of raising modern children are based on the fact that a person is a social being, he must be taught everything, including friendship.<\/p>\n Some mothers are hesitant to talk about work, because they believe that by doing so they will pile unnecessary responsibility on the child and involve him in adulthood. It is useful for a child to understand what life is. It is not necessary to load him with problems, but it is very important to talk about the positive aspects. Well, you can talk about the problems a little, just a little bit.<\/p>\n From time immemorial, in peasant families, parents involved children in their adult life. As soon as the baby confidently got up on his feet, he was immediately entrusted with feasible work: to graze geese, look after a goat, feed the animals, rock the cradle with his younger brother-sister.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n The child must clearly understand that the mother is not the attendants! If she goes to work, it is honorable and respectful: mom earns money, mom holds a position. When is mom home? Should she, on first demand, run to the child headlong?<\/p>\n Becoming a mother, many women dissolve in children, literally hang over them, like an eagle over an eagle. Many mothers think that this is how it should be, this is the right behavior. And the community approves of it. Surrounding encouragingly click their tongues: oh, what a wonderful mother she is, she constantly takes care of the child! But is it true?<\/p>\n Many selfless mothers then discover with horror: the husband has cooled off, comes home later and later, and the child sits on his neck and only chats with his legs, and the mother herself is tired, irritated, and bluish circles under her eyes.<\/p>\n Every mother, whether she works outside the home or is exclusively engaged in housework, has the right to have time for herself. And in the apartment she should have her own corner for privacy. Not the kitchen, where she always cooks or cleans something! This corner is an armchair in the bedroom or in the office. Or a sofa in the living room. It could be the bathroom if she was going to soak in a bubble bath with scented candles instead of washing her daddy's sliders and socks.<\/p>\n Not every woman can boast that sometimes she retires in the house. Some of them cannot even go to the toilet – the child follows her around and insists that the mother does not close the door of the toilet room to the end. Such a symbiosis is harmful primarily to the child himself, because it completely deprives a person of independence. From the first months of life, a child should be able to stay alone and entertain and occupy himself. Children who are attached to their mothers, like Siamese twins, show the worst indicators at school, because separation from their mother is a global catastrophe for them.<\/p>\n Remember the important principle of family education: obligatory every day (at least fifteen minutes), the mother should retire in the house and devote time only to herself.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n These fifteen, or even better – twenty minutes – not loneliness in the kitchen while stirring the soup. These fifteen or twenty minutes are for yourself, for your peace of mind, for restoring your feminine essence. This time is blissful doing nothing.<\/p>\n Think about how you will spend these fifteen to twenty minutes. It is best if each day has its own activity. Try to make a schedule for the week. For example: twice – baths with foam and herbs, twice – read a book, a romance novel, or a detective story, or a magazine with secular gossip, twice – listen to music, meditate, once – play solitaire or solve a crossword puzzle.<\/p>\n Small children create a lot of noise and excitement, so you need to rest from them, even though they are the most beloved. Silence, pleasant calm music are necessary. These fifteen or twenty minutes should be devoted to yourself, only to yourself, to be alone with yourself in a pleasant relaxing atmosphere. If you need to turn on your favorite TV series to relax, well, let it be a TV series. Develop your imagination and your abilities!<\/p>\n Write five to seven positions, what you will do, devoting to yourself a daily quarter of an hour.<\/p>\n Do not forget about such a principle of education in the family as accustoming children to help their parents.<\/p>\n It is also dangerous to go to the other extreme when a mother pushes her child away. She does this involuntarily – not because she does not love him, but because she is tired, always in a hurry somewhere. Or it doesn\u2019t occur to her that there are words that you shouldn\u2019t say to your children. Here are examples of such words: – My sunshine, I can\u2019t read a book to you now, because I need to fry pancakes for dinner. Help me. We'll make dinner together sooner, and maybe we'll have time to read a book before papa comes.<\/p>\n And the child will be happy, because children really like to help their mother. It is only important to involve the child in such a way as not to present oneself as the last nonentity in the world. You can\u2019t say: I can\u2019t cope without you, without you I won\u2019t find the right saucepan. You are my only savior and helper. No need for exaltation!<\/p>\n Of course, given this feature of home education and inviting the child to cook, think about his safety. Do not pick up the baby – it can be dangerous. It is better to allocate a special place for it. Note that the theme of place has reappeared. If the child has his own place in the kitchen, this will save the mother in many situations. Perhaps it will be a stable stool on which the child will stand and be able to reach everything in front of you without putting himself at risk.<\/p>\n He will surely like to repeat your actions: you pour the dough into the pan – and he will want to do it. And let him do it! It is not necessary to say that he will not succeed, that he will only translate the products. Let it translate! But you will fix in his head a positive matrix of helping mom, and when the child grows up, you will no longer need to fight to get him to clean the room.<\/p>\n One of the principles of parenting is to encourage the child. But if the baby repeats your actions, then do not worry about the fact that you will translate the products. Your child is learning, so losses are inevitable.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n And, of course, include in the plan that when your baby helps you, no process will go faster. Everything, on the contrary, will be much slower, because he will probably spill something, knock something over, and you will need to wipe and clean something. But you will get an exciting game of "help mom". Playing "help mom" is a wonderful investment in parenting, and very soon you will begin to receive dividends from this investment.<\/p>\n Now consider another situation. Let's say your baby asks you to play at a time when you were not doing community service. Suppose he caught up with you in your fifteen minutes to himself, and at that very second you were going to call your best friend. How to be? Interrupt? Not! Planned to call a friend – call. And still politely tell the baby that you can read a book to him in fifteen minutes. If you take into account the peculiarities of family education of a preschooler and teach the child to negotiate, everything will go like clockwork.<\/p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" What tricks can be resorted to to facilitate the process of family education<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":532916,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_wp_rev_ctl_limit":""},"categories":[543],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-584298","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-the-family"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/allforwomen.com.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/584298","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/allforwomen.com.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/allforwomen.com.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allforwomen.com.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allforwomen.com.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=584298"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/allforwomen.com.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/584298\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allforwomen.com.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/532916"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/allforwomen.com.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=584298"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allforwomen.com.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=584298"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allforwomen.com.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=584298"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Psychological features of parenting: rules in the family<\/h2>\n
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Features of the process of education in the family: play or indulge?<\/h2>\n
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Basic principles and rules of family education of preschool children<\/h2>\n
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One of the basic principles of raising children is to ensure the safety of the baby. Do not teach your child to talk to strangers on the street. In these difficult times, it is better to be careful. There are too many villains walking the streets, so take care of your children. It is, so to speak, a matter of external order. But by allowing an adult to make comments, the grandmother also violated the internal routine: she allowed the child to be the master of life. And this is wrong, because the child must know his place. And this does not mean at all that we do not respect the child. By no means! Respect for the child is the main principle of raising children of preschool age, but there are also other internal rules. Like the rules of the road: when everyone follows them, traffic on the road becomes safe and comfortable.<\/p>\nFeatures of family education of children of primary preschool age: accustoming to order<\/h2>\n
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Features of home education of a preschool child by a working mother<\/h2>\n
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Almost every working mother is faced with the fact that her baby rolls up a scandal when she is about to leave home for work. Nastya is one of those mothers.<\/p>\n\n
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Considering the peculiarities of raising children of primary preschool age, it is better to negotiate with the child and explain to him when the mother will come, introducing the concept of time. This can also be done at any age. How to explain the time, how to negotiate with the baby – we will write about this a little later. This is a very important trick, it will come in handy for all occasions. In the meantime, in the next chapter, we will consider what rights a mother has at home.<\/p>\n\n
Features of home education: help for parents<\/h2>\n
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