Some put the equality of partners at the forefront, other families are based on authoritarian principles, but without mutual respect and joint discussion of the accumulated problems, a harmonious marriage cannot be built. Often, spouses have different views, interests and moral attitudes, do not match in character, have a diametrically opposite temperament, but loving people can overcome all these obstacles.<\/p>\n
The practical psychology of relationship building is essentially concerned with the study of people's life strategies that lead them to various outcomes: life satisfaction, success or failure. Such strategies stand out, among other things, in the field of family relations. There are three constructive strategies that are helpful in building a relationship. If you adhere to these directions, or, in any case, see these guidelines, family relations will develop favorably.<\/p>\n
The first principle of building relationships is the acceptance of the partner's value system as equivalent to one's own.<\/strong><\/p>\n We identify our system of values \u200b\u200bwith our culture, with our vision of family life, and it seems to us the only correct one. However, it is only one of many possibilities. The partner's ideas can be no worse, and in any case, they are no less valuable than ours.<\/p>\n Such an idea is quite difficult to accept both in vital matters and in small things. Relationship building principles usually deal with people's core values. What can you do if you want to earn money, are extramarital affairs of spouses acceptable, what boundaries of self-disclosure will be appropriate, how important is it for a partner to have moral qualities that seem important to me – these and similar questions are decided by every person who is in a long-term relationship, marriage. However, questions are not always put so globally. More often, it is small everyday habits that personify for us the difference in life approaches, become a stumbling block. For example, a woman who believes that the whole family should eat breakfast together finds it incredibly difficult to accept that her husband's ideas that it is better for everyone to have breakfast quickly and alone also have a right to exist.<\/p>\n When building a relationship between a man and a woman, your partner's system of life and values \u200b\u200bis just as important as yours. Devaluation or criticism of this system, attempts to break through it often lead to disastrous results.<\/p>\n The second strategy for building a happy relationship is to openly discuss the differences in the views of the spouses.<\/strong><\/p>\n Usually spouses understand that they are different, but they cannot accurately answer the question of what exactly distinguishes them. As a rule, there is confusion among partners:<\/strong> who wants what, who leans towards what. This is often due to insufficient discussion of these issues in the family, in other words, people simply avoid talking about difficult topics. Add to this “mind reading" and the expectation that you will be understood without words, and the picture is ready.<\/p>\n In every area there is a whole tangle of problems, and there are many more such areas: children, entertainment, work, health, holidays, family traditions and much more. When building strong relationships, an open discussion of these issues in combination with the first strategy (accepting the spouse's world view as equal) leads to more harmonious family ties.<\/p>\n What to do if there is an understanding in what exactly the views of the spouses differ? After all, disagreements will not disappear by themselves just because they are named.<\/p>\n An accurate understanding and statement of the problem with the right building of relationships is only the beginning of the path. To go further, a third strategy is needed.<\/p>\n The third strategy for building harmonious relationships is the formation of unique rules in the family.<\/strong><\/p>\n No model brought by spouses (wife or husband) can, and in a healthy situation should not, be accurately reproduced in a new family. The new family is a new community that must develop for itself new laws and rules that can satisfy both. When building interpersonal relationships, new, unique rules that take into account the characteristics of your family are something like an unspoken constitution that is suitable for life in your microstate. In fact, this is a system of compromises and new solutions, which must equally satisfy the requirements of all its participants.<\/p>\n In fact, most spouses consider it a good decision to impose their picture of the world on their spouse (after all, this picture is the best!).<\/p>\n The family crisis, when it becomes clear who will do what, who will be responsible for what, who will provide what support to whom, is considered not passed if new relationships have not been born, that is, the relationship is stuck at the stage of claims and has not moved anywhere further. In family relationships during a crisis, the family is both facing difficulties and new opportunities. If these opportunities are used, family members can move to a new level of closeness, unity and understanding. If not, then there is a real danger of breaking the relationship.<\/p>\n Let's take as an example the relationship between parents and children in a family. Suppose that a husband and wife have diametrically opposed views on a number of fundamental aspects of education. Let's try to simulate the successful outcome of this conflict, when neither side is the victim.<\/p>\n The main setting that will help in the process of negotiating spouses when building relationships in the family is this: differences do not make us irreconcilable enemies, but only enrich our couple. With the help of my spouse, I can see those nuances of life that are inaccessible to me, consider other life opportunities.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n This setting when building family relationships can be imagined as an image of people touching each other with their backs. In this position, they, as a couple, have a much greater range of vision: they can see what is behind them – through the eyes of another. Two people with opposing views can significantly enrich each other's world if they approach this from a position of opportunity, and not with a hostile attitude, to convince and rebuild the "wrong" views of the partner.<\/p>\n Suppose the husband believes that the child should be brought up in a children's team so that he learns to communicate with other children. And he offers to send the child to kindergarten. And the wife is sure that mass education destroys creativity and adversely affects the child's soul due to insufficient individual attention to the child. And she intends to educate and educate the child at home, herself. How could such a situation be fruitful, in terms of family relationships, and beneficial for the child? Let's take a look at several steps that couples can go through in order to reach a mutually satisfying solution.<\/p>\n The first stage of building relationships<\/strong> between spouses in the family:<\/strong>try to really penetrate each other's logic. They sincerely listen to the arguments, try to understand which of the arguments are more important for the partner, and which are secondary. They get to know each other more deeply, which will help them not only understand each other better, but also give a sense of sincerity and depth of relationship. In the process of talking about each other's values \u200b\u200band preferences, they can learn each other's personal stories that have influenced their judgment. By itself, this process tunes the interlocutors to each other, makes it clear that any judgment has a history, and it is as valuable for a person as your judgment is for you. In the process of a sincere conversation, the interlocutor should have the feeling that his opinion is important, that the partner really wants to understand him. So you start building not walls, but bridges.<\/p>\n The second stage of the relationship in marriage:<\/strong> the spouses determine the critical points. For example, the wife categorically refuses to take the child to the state kindergarten, and the husband is against 100% home education. This is how the first points of contact are indicated: the wife is ready to consider alternatives (temporary stay groups), and the husband is ready to admit that a few hours of communication a day is enough for a child to develop social skills. The positions of the spouses at this stage are no longer so irreconcilable.<\/p>\n The third stage of interpersonal relations between spouses and children:<\/strong> the development of a common solution. For example, a child is assigned to a private kindergarten for three days a week.<\/p>\n A decision was made, which, most likely, is good for the child, as it implies a more flexible position, the rejection of categoricalness (“only a garden!” Or “only at home!”). The child gets more opportunities than with a one-sided solution. So the couple made a decision based on a broader view. The spouses are satisfied, as both feel that they are heard and their arguments are taken into account when making a joint decision.<\/p>\n In addition, on the example of this contradiction, the child can observe a model of how to negotiate with loved ones, and this helps him develop a more constructive character.<\/p>\n There are many issues related to raising children, and for most of them you can find a solution that suits both parents. But in any kind of relationship building, the spouses must abandon the position: I will be satisfied only when everything is exactly, in my opinion.<\/p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" How to build strong, harmonious relationships: advice from psychologists on creating a happy family<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":392853,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_wp_rev_ctl_limit":""},"categories":[543],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-593298","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-the-family"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/allforwomen.com.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/593298","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/allforwomen.com.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/allforwomen.com.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allforwomen.com.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allforwomen.com.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=593298"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/allforwomen.com.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/593298\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allforwomen.com.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/392853"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/allforwomen.com.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=593298"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allforwomen.com.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=593298"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/allforwomen.com.de\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=593298"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Building a happy relationship between a man and a woman<\/h2>\n
Building harmonious interpersonal relationships between spouses and children<\/h2>\n
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