How to argue with your loved one?
Of course, happiness in a relationship remains the value that every couple aspires to. Happiness in a relationship is achieved in small steps, with the help of constant compromises and concessions for the sake of the feeling that exists. Of course, we are talking about the ideal case in a vacuum. However, the reality is that almost every couple who has experience in a relationship has topics for spontaneous strife and at least one Major Argument that you return to again and again. And in these cases, it is very important to learn how to argue correctly: in a reasoned, balanced way, without shouting, tantrums and unnecessary negativity. How to do it?
How to argue with your loved one?
Arguments with a loved one are always difficult, first of all, from an emotional point of view. Conflicts are simple with those who are unpleasant to us, but here it is worth being very careful about all the words spoken and the actions taken. What should be considered in disputes with a guy?
- TOGETHER IS POWER. Think for yourself how important the subject of the dispute is for you personally? It is not always necessary to prove one’s own innocence. Think about what will happen if you still prove to your loved one that he is wrong and who will be easier or better in this case? Before the argument escalates to a serious extent, take a time out and evaluate how interconnected you are in this conflict. Time outs in conflicts, by the way, are very important, they help to cool down and analyze everything that has been said or done. A time out is not just a pause, a pause, its timing and nature, must be immediately specified.
- THINK BIGGER. Conflict can develop and strengthen relationships if you accept the fact that even ideal partners learn to understand each other. Here it is important to accept not so much the very fact of a dispute or conflict, but whether your partner agrees to any concessions or not.
- DON’T THINK IMMEDIATELY THAT YOUR PARTNER IS NOT SUITABLE FOR YOU. Of course, if you are lucky and you have found a soul mate, conflicts are excluded. And if problems arise, then the system has failed and you have another round of trial and error until you make the right choice. For those who look at the world from the perspective of development, going through difficulties in relationships is not at all a signal “oh my god, we are incompatible!", but an opportunity to learn to understand each other and strengthen relationships through conflict resolution. Fatalism in a relationship has never been good.
- TREAT THE DISPUTE NOT AS A CONFLICT, BUT AS AN OPPORTUNITY. Treating disputes as opportunities sounds positive—even though we know it’s easier said than done. Even with very close people, it is sometimes easier to admit the collapse of a life together than to enter a constructive round of conflict. Again, we repeat that fatalism, in any case, will be superfluous. However, look at the argument from the other side: this is a good exercise that makes your couple better and more harmonious, actively moving along the path of mutual understanding. Just try. It is almost always useful to discuss relationships, of course, on a positive note, and the emergence of a discussion is quite a good reason for this.
The main rules of disputes with a loved one:
- Never, under any circumstances, stoop to insults;
- It is worth making a decision about parting only in insoluble situations, when the partner is categorically incapable of compromises in matters of principle for you. In all other cases, take your time with statements;
- If possible, do not get personal, especially those of his friends and family;
- Refrain from value judgments;
- It is advisable to do without tears and tantrums, they are simply confusing and deprive the conversation of a constructive one;
- Do not blackmail a partner: neither with money, nor with intimacy. All this, of course, will lead to parting and, at first, will create a negative emotional background.