What gets in the way of happiness in a relationship?

There is no mystery or mysticism in the formula of true love. As the classic wrote, "all happy families are alike." In fact, indeed, the patterns in happy relationships are very, very similar. And this very happiness can be learned: if you do not forget to work on yourself regularly. As a rule, a happy relationship is hindered by a number of complexes received in childhood, as well as certain negative attitudes. We will talk about this in a little more detail in this article.

What gets in the way of a happy relationship?

Very often, many girls keep a number of toxic installations in their minds. For example, these:

1. "I’M AFRAID THAT I WILL NOT MEET ANYONE MORE." As a rule, this attitude grows out of a powerful inferiority complex and the feeling that you do not deserve better. The worst possible scenario for the development of a relationship is to cling to almost the first person you meet, turning a blind eye to all possible shortcomings, just not to be left alone. First of all, no matter how paradoxical it may sound, in a relationship you should think about yourself. By giving up personal interests and persuading yourself to be patient in order not to return to loneliness, you risk directing your story to a sad ending. And yet, it is this attitude that prevents you from getting out of a toxic relationship. Even if they are bad in themselves and you feel bad about them, the fear of being alone convinces you to settle for less.
2. "I CAN GET BETTER / MAKE IT BETTER." Unfortunately, changing a person is still not the best idea and the road to hell is paved with good intentions. It actually sounds weird. That is, you admit that the person does not suit you, but you choose him. Reaching the point where you are willing to accept all the pros and cons is often a matter of time. It is difficult to say, unfortunately or fortunately, but it is very important to accept a loved one with all his advantages and disadvantages. If the person does not suit you, then perhaps it makes sense to part with him and look for something that will be closer to you in spirit.
3. EVERYTHING CAN CHANGE. In general, this phrase is philosophical, but if you are constantly ready for negativity, then sooner or later, it will happen. There is a positive side to this approach – for those who believe in self-development and conduct a sincere dialogue with a partner. If at least one of the couple is not inclined to compromise, then any change will take place with quarrels and conflicts.

Another mistake that so many couples make is getting married too soon. Basic advice: wait until you move in together or get married until you both feel confident that you are ready to be together. This implies that you have a good look at each other and instead of wasting energy on conquering the mythical frontiers, you cancel the struggle for the right to be yourself or go your separate ways. The better you know each other before you move in together or get married, the less chance that your union will ultimately be unsuccessful.

They say that opposites attract and sometimes this rule really works, but only when people are still able to compromise on key issues. After all, think for yourself, if you are a scrupulous pedant, and order in the house is not at all important to your chosen one, then this will become a constant ground for conflicts that will simply kill the relationship.

In general, it is the willingness to compromise that remains the main secret of the success of almost any relationship. Moreover, the compromise should be such that the interests and desires of both parties are taken into account: relationships should bring pleasure, not pain and suffering.