Why are you still single? What’s wrong?
If you are now a free girl and are currently in search, most likely you have encountered some difficulties. There is nothing surprising in this: finding the person who will become the closest to you is far from always easy. Situations are different and it is quite possible that potential gentlemen simply turned out to be not as good as they could be. But perhaps there are still some reasons that lie in you. And we will talk about the main ones in this article.
First of all, I would like to note that you should never overdo it with reflection. In the end, you can look for reasons in yourself endlessly and earn quite significant problems with self-esteem. Therefore, in most cases, it's worth just letting go of the situation and looking at it from a different angle: for example, one that implies that the current period of your life is simply more suitable for career, study, friends, travel, and not for relationships. Remark: the more active your lifestyle, the more interesting activities you find, the faster you will find your soul mate.
And among the reasons for loneliness may be the following:
- Fear of being abandoned. This is an extremely dangerous fear for a woman, and this is exactly the feeling that sometimes makes you settle for less. Often it occurs in women who, in childhood, experienced the departure of the most important man – their father. He really left, and it was painful and hard, but this does not characterize your personality and does not mean that no one will love you. On the contrary, this experience may emphasize your desire to build strong, trusting relationships: for example, you can reflect on the mistakes in relationships that were in your family. You want it, you will get it.
- Fear of repeating the unhappy marriage of parents. Perhaps it was all so, and it scared you. No one is immune from problems in the family. But that doesn't mean you weren't safe. You were not responsible for their relationship. These were their problems, and they dealt with them in the best way they could: understand that your parents' mistakes are only your mistakes. This fear from childhood makes it difficult to understand that you yourself are responsible for the relationship. And here you can change a lot – it's your relationship, not your parents. And you can create an atmosphere in which you feel safe by completely eliminating those triggers that were in the family. Now is the time to let go of the past in order to allow a happy future to come: and we believe that you will succeed.
- Fear of losing yourself in a relationship. Often this fear haunts deliberately independent and self-sufficient girls. Again, most often this fear comes from the family: for example, you saw how your mother, instead of developing a career or getting a new profession, was mired in everyday life and washing baby diapers. You can't know exactly what happened between the parents. In any case, their actions were influenced by their childhood traumas. But you are a different person, your childhood was not the same as that of your parents: this is a great chance to analyze their mistakes and not repeat them in your personal life. You are free and independent, both in a relationship and in the status of a “loner": and you can build the relationship of your dreams so that they are based on this very, very important feeling of freedom for you. Knowing that you can calmly express your desires and preferences to a future partner,
- Fear of repeating previous "bad" relationships. Of course, we all have a certain background in relations with the opposite sex, and it is far from always positive. Perhaps on your way you met not the most honest person, and you, having heeded the stereotypes, albeit subconsciously, are sure that the next chosen one will not do the best to you. On the contrary, often unsuccessful relationships serve as a kind of inoculation against inappropriate people.