How to discuss the budget with your loved one?
Few topics remain as taboo and difficult to discuss, even, it would seem, between the closest, beloved people, as the topic of money and budget. It is difficult to say why exactly this is so difficult, but indeed, in our society it is not customary to even discuss salaries among friends, and even with the general budget, paradoxically, it is even more difficult to agree. How to approach this issue correctly?
How to discuss the budget with your loved one?
First, you need to make sure that you are really close enough. As a rule, the topic of discussing the budget is updated when there are thoughts about a joint future – a wedding or just living together. In no case do not leave this moment “for later", otherwise very unpleasant surprises may await you.
Before you get married, talk about the most piquant details in the topic of finance: how you will manage the money, what you will spend on, how many times you will go on vacation, who will work and how, who will be the provider of the house.
Honesty and willingness to compromise – above all
In this matter, literally, as in no other, absolute honesty and openness of partners, readiness for compromises is extremely important. If a man is afraid of such conversations, it means that he has not matured enough to start his own family, to become a worthy father and husband: therefore, if a man himself leaves these conversations, then this is a reason to think seriously.
No matter how paradoxical it may seem, it is precisely such low-earning infantile and self-centered characters who most often accuse women of commercialism. And they run away at the first difficulties, leave their wife alone with the child and diligently evade alimony, begging for a salary in an envelope, so as not to give away their hard-earned pennies, and it is these characters who are sure that every woman just sleeps and sees how her to get more money from a man. So listen to this wake-up call and do not rush to the registry office just because you are finally invited.
What you need to know before talking about the budget?
What do you want to achieve together, how much money do you need to set aside for these goals? Discuss all this together, not shouting, but consulting. Define not only general life goals, but specifically financial ones. It is very important to remain completely calm when discussing such issues, and even if you disagree with your partner in some way, it is necessary to reach a consensus without screams, tears, tantrums and resentment. The topic of money, for good, should be completely devoid of this kind of emotion, here everything needs to be decided as calmly as possible.
Analyze how much per month you need to save in order to achieve these financial goals, what you need to give up, what to save on. Agree on who exactly contributes to the budget and how much, how much is spent on general, family goals, and how much each person spends on their own.
This moment is most important: each of the partners should have their own, personal amount, into which the other person does not have the right to climb. This will preserve a certain sense of independence, which, paradoxically, on the contrary, strengthens the relationship. By the way, it’s much easier to make small surprises for your soul mate: you just don’t need to dodge and think before the surprise how to properly explain the “hole” in the budget to your beloved.
In no case should there be a situation where only one of the partners has access to the budget, in fact, this is financial violence. The budget should be distributed, if not in half, then at least close to it. And if your partner does not make reasonable compromises, then again, you should think about how much your partner is.