How to recognize a narcissist? Why You Shouldn’t Start a Relationship with Narcissists
It seems that almost the worst thing that can happen to a girl is a relationship with a narcissist. It is important to understand that where narcissism is excessive narcissism and concentration solely on oneself, there is selfishness, as well as egocentrism, which means complete disregard for you in these relationships. If you are not lucky enough to start a relationship with a narcissist, it is very important to understand that this is unlikely to end well. And giving birth to children from a narcissist man is completely utopian, because then he will notice that the vector of attention has shifted from him to the child: this is fraught with anything, up to the departure of such a man from the family. And so, how to recognize a narcissist correctly and in time?
How to quickly recognize a narcissist?
In fact, this is far from always easy, sometimes daffodils are quite successfully disguised. But the main features are present.
- Distance. In the process of communication, narcissists avoid intimacy and seem to slip out of relationships, creating a large psychological distance between themselves and others. Narcissists find it difficult to show empathy and compassion. If you notice that a person, for the most part, does not even care about his environment and close friends, and is also of little interest besides his life, then it is better to run away from him.
- Emotional pendulum. Without emotional swings, narcissists cannot do anything. At the beginning of a relationship, the narcissist knows how to create a feeling of great importance for a partner and treats him as a deity. Then, after a fairly short time, the narcissists, as it were, are bridged and they begin to literally put their partner in nothing. This does not end well: think about yourself and how such an emotional swing will affect you personally. And yet, they are adept at quarrels to “shake up" relationships. Yes, at first it refreshes the feeling, but in the end, it still leads to neuroses.
- Feeling of shame. The narcissist experiences a constant sense of shame towards himself, as if he is not good enough, not up to some level. And he also perfectly knows how to cause this very, notorious feeling of guilt in everyone around him, he knows how to radiate with complexes.
- Doesn’t forgive mistakes. Such a person does not allow himself to make mistakes, he needs to be perfect so that someone can love him for it. At the same time, the narcissist does not forgive mistakes and those around him and is quite aggressive towards any shortcomings that, in his opinion, are manifested in others.
- Dependence on someone else’s opinion. In general, this is typical for almost any people with an unstable psyche. Each narcissist depends on external evaluation, and it is the opinions of others that can greatly influence the inner sense of self. The narcissist is constantly asking for your opinion on anything, especially those that concern him personally.
- Violates someone else’s space. And he himself may not even be aware of it. Able to hurt his partner, not attaching importance to this, appealing to the value of his opinion. The very fact that his words are painful for a partner, he can deny.
- Feeling of self worth. The narcissistic person is self-centered, she has no doubt that the whole world revolves around her and for her. Often his speech is permeated with the phrases “But I …”, “But I have …”.
- Lost. Despite their self-satisfaction, narcissists constantly feel inner emptiness and unbearable loneliness. If with all the signs listed above, you also notice dissatisfaction with your loneliness, then this is a one hundred percent narcissist.
- Control over everyone. The narcissist is a true control freak. Each narcissist has little to no trust in other people, which is why he tends to constantly control them. Such people practically do not know how to delegate.
In general, narcissism or narcissistic accentuation for a person is a rather serious problem that needs to be addressed with a qualified psychotherapist. But if you meet such a person, then we advise you to stay away from him.