Mistakes in raising a daughter Page 1 of 0 – %%primary_category%%

Let’s look at the mistakes in raising a daughter. Many parents raise their daughters using stereotypes imposed by their parents. It is usually believed that a girl must be beautiful, sweet, economic and obedient. These qualities will help to become an excellent wife in the future. However, in the modern world there are no more restrictions. Earnings and housework are distributed equally in the family. A woman can easily become an astronaut or an airplane pilot.

Parents, reconsider your views on the proper upbringing of a child!

ERRORS IN EDUCATION:

Be your daughter’s friend

Result:

• The girl becomes an adult and responsible too early, tries to become a psychological support for her mother, to protect her from life’s adversities. In adulthood, it will be difficult for a daughter to separate and start her own family. It will seem to her that her mother simply cannot cope alone.
• Looking for someone strong who can replace her parent.

As it is right: friendly communication with a child is good, but it is better to let it be built on the interests and experiences of the daughter, and not on yours.

Raising a daughter, trying to realize in her his dream of a son

Result:

• Problems with self-identification. The girl cannot understand who she is.
• Feelings of guilt towards parents and the desire to earn their love.
• There may be problems in your personal life. A woman can be successful in her career, but not have a family.

How to:

• Support her desire to develop. Do not forbid playing those games that are interesting to your daughter.
• Ask more often how she would like to spend time with her parents. Perhaps a trip to the forest with tents will not cause delight, as the girl dreamed of going to an amusement park.

Tell her: "You’re a girl!".

Result: in order to become free from the prescribed framework, the daughter chooses a male line of behavior. In her opinion, boys do not comply with such conventions.

As it is correct: if you want to change the behavior of your daughter, see in her not a girl, but a person. Give arguments that relate specifically to her or your feelings. I-messages will be helpful. Instead of "You’re such a slob," say, "I get frustrated when I have to do laundry too often."

Forcing older daughter to sit with younger child

Result:

• In the future, the eldest daughter may have a reluctance to become a mother.
• Strained relationship between children.

How to:

• If you need to leave your younger child for a long time, you must compensate the costs of the eldest daughter. It can be money, additional pleasures (for example, tickets to a movie or a concert).
• Another option is to have babysitting as a household chore. It is important to specify on what days and how many hours the eldest daughter will be busy with this.
• The responsibility for the fact that the younger ones get dirty, misbehave, lies with adults. Don’t blame the older daughter for this.

Punish for fights and boyish games

Result: A ban can backfire. The girl will show even more interest in boyish hobbies. She will become rude and aggressive because you think she is.

As it is right: there is nothing wrong with being interested in conventionally boyish games. But, if your daughter is not in contact with girls at all, think about it. Perhaps you unconsciously encourage her? For example, a dad who wanted a son can admire what kind of “tomboy" he is growing. And the girl, even having outgrown such hobbies, will continue to meet the expectations of her father.

Demand that the daughter be quiet and obedient

Result:  the girl will never learn to build her own boundaries. In adulthood, she will endure physical and psychological discomfort instead of solving the problem.

How to do it right: be attentive to the desires of your daughter, do not discount them. Teach the girl to stand up for her opinion.

Teach your daughter to rely only on herself

Result:

• By advising our daughter to rely only on our own strength, we lay the foundation for the girl’s internal conflict. There may be problems with trust in people, as well as the inability to work in a team.
• If in the future your daughter wants to start a family and have a baby, it will be very difficult for her to rely on her husband.

How to do it right: tell the girl that she can always count on parental help and support.