What is resentment? What to do if you are offended?
Resentment can be presented as a kind of high expectation. That is, you expected some behavior from a person, but he did not live up to your expectations. What is resentment?
Also, resentment can be a learned reaction. We have all seen how small children ask for a toy, but their parents do not buy it for them. Then the child begins to take offense and cry, and in order to calm the baby, the parents agree to the purchase. This method of manipulation persists for life. In the future, instead of resolving the conflict with her husband and finding out the problem, the woman is offended, collects her things and leaves for her mother. Then she waits for an apology from her man and then decides whether to forgive him or not.
Should I be offended or not?
Ask yourself: βIs this good for me? What will it give me?" For example, you want to start a strong relationship with a man. Is it good for you to be offended by him? There may be times when a man behaved incorrectly. You were offended by him, he immediately corrected his mistake and went in the right direction. In this case, you were offended correctly.
But if you take offense from scratch and a man hears this for the 100th time, then this can simply lead to a break in your relationship.
How to protect yourself if you are offended?
- Remind the abuser that this kind of behavior with you is unacceptable. If your offender is inadequate and does not perceive your comments, then simply cut off communication with him.
- Change your reaction to the insult from the offender. He provokes you to a conflict, waiting for you to answer him the same. Translate everything into a joke, laugh. Let the abuser understand that he cannot manipulate you.
- Accept your shortcomings and work on them, then you will be impossible to hook on this matter.